Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Sweet boy...
I just finished having my quiet time. I had knelt down to pray in one of the chairs in the den, (both boys were in the playroom) when in walks Preston. He asked me what I was doing, and I said "praying." He said, "me pray too." Then he got down beside me on his knees, put is folded hands in the chair next to mine and bowed that precious head. Thank you, God, for sweet moments like this... and for entrusting me with that amazing little boy. :)
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Life on Crutches... I've lost count
So, I don't know how many days I've been on them, but what I do know is that I've got 9 days before I go back to the dr. Please pray that all will be healed when I go back? Just a rundown of the last week... Yesterday was the first time I had left the house since last Saturday. Cabin fever, anyone? The good news is I've gotten caught up on most of my scrapbooking, and God is using this time to teach me some pretty awesome things. Oh, and I've gotten to watch a lot of movies, but the middle one is the most important. That's about all I got... except this one thing from P: The boys are at their grandparents (praise God for my amazing in-laws! I love them so much!). Nonnie gave us a call today and said that Preston was watching tv last night and saw the new Hardee's turkey burger commercial... you know the one... with Miss Turkey... in a bikini? Anyway, after the commercial was over, P said something like this, "Tell Daddy I like girl burger underwear pants." Does it really start this early?
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Life on crutches: day 2
All I'm going to say is... it's no fun sitting on the sidelines while your baby is celebrating his birthday at Chuck E Cheese... AND your husband is having to check off your "to do" list for the upcoming birthday party... Ok, so really that's not ALL I'm going to say, but all I'm going to say about the crutches. We've had such a fun birthday for Preston! This morning we went to his school for birthday cookies with his class. They've been studying bugs this week, so we had a very talented cookie/cake maker ice grasshoppers, walking sticks, snails, ants, and spiders (or what one girl called a "ladybug") on the cookies. They were so cute! Preston LOVED all the attention he got. They actually sang "Happy Birthday" three times, and every single time, his face just lit up... so teased, but loving it at the same time. Tonight, we celebrated at Chuck E Cheese with just us and Mimi and Pop. I promise you his eyes about bugged out of his head when he opened his Woody, Buzz, and "Racecar" (Lightening McQueen) we got him... then he about had a coronary when he opened the humongo Cars rescue chopper Mimi and Pop got him... complete with Firetruck Rescue Mater. :) I love seeing his face light up like that... I live for it. He is just so precious. Well, it's late... and I've blogged two days in a row. I know, right? Can you believe it? And it's almost midnight. Must go to bed... I have a long day of staying off of my leg ahead of me.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Life on Crutches: day 1/ Happy birthday P
In a word... ugh. This. is. no. fun.... at. all. So, I fell on vacation and long story short, I'm on crutches now due to a stress fracture in my leg. See, I don't think it would be that big of a deal (based on what I read on the internets), but we're going to Disney in a month and when the dr. heard that, out came the crutches... and the instructions to stay off of my leg as much as possible... because both of these are realistic with a 6 month old. I actually got the crutches yesterday, and I have to tell you about my sweet baby, well, big boy. Of course he was completely intrigued by them. When Justin got home tonight, he showed them to him and said, "Mommy hop". But from the time I got on them yesterday and he saw me on them, he has gone out of his way to move things out of my way so I don't fall again. Let me just say, he has done this without me having to even ask him. When we got home from school yesterday, I was going from the truck to the house... this was the first time he had seen me on them. He was walking in the house and noticed something in the garage blocking my way. He walked past it, but before I could get to it, he had turned around, ran back to it, moved it out of the way and then watched to be sure I made it through safely. He did it again today in the den when some laundry was in my path. So sweet, so considerate, so big... did I mention he'll be 4 tomorrow? That's right, I said FOUR. Where on Earth has the time gone? I've been so depressed this week over it. I'm so proud of the little man he's becoming. He's so considerate, and loving, and polite. Of course, he's all boy too... infatuated with cars, and dirt, and bugs. He has taught me so much about myself and so much about life. I am completely in love with him... I never knew something could hold your heart so tight. He's just so sweet. He's started this thing... we sleep late in our house (one of the perks of staying at home). About 8 every morning, he comes into my and Justin's bedroom (J is already at work), crawls up into the bed, wipes my bangs away from my face, and kisses my forehead... sweet, precious, little kisses. He's not trying to wake me up... I've watched him to see what he does if I don't wake up. He simply gets down off of the bed and goes back into the den. Then I hear noises of him playing with his cars... just waiting on Mommy to wake up. Precious... the kind of precious that makes my heart hurt and makes me want to cry because I know there will be a day when he won't ever want to do that again. I love that he loves me like that... when no one else is watching, and that he's taking care of me... being the man of the house when his daddy is gone. Oh, I praise God for the work He's done in this baby's life and pray He will continue it... and I know He will. (He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Phil. 1:6) I praise Him for the amazing gift He's given me and Justin of raising this little boy to be a man of God, and I'm humbled that He entrusted Justin and I with such an enormous responisbility. The past 4 years of my life have been so amazing, so life-transforming... thank you, P, for giving my life meaning, joy, and love like I never knew, and never knew I was capable of. You are my heart. Happy birthday, sweet baby.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Adventures in motherhood...
WARNING... this post is not for the faint or for people who get sick easily... this may be the most vile, disgusting thing I've ever posted about, but it's funny... at least the first part is. The last part... not so much.
So when we started trying to potty train Preston, someone told us the easiest thing to do with little boys was to take them outside and let them tee tee on a leaf, or rock, or some other focal point. He loved it. He even asks if he can go outside and tee tee from time to time. Depending on the weather, the answer is usually yes.
Well, today, he comes waddling into the house (he had been outside playing) with his pants and boxers around his ankles with a big smile on his face. "Poo poo side, Mommy!" Translation: He poo poo'd outside. I asked him to clarify what I thought I heard, and sure enough, he had poo poo'd outside. He was so proud... and I was in such disbelief... he showed me where it was. And there it sat... a good portion too... not just a couple of pellets.
So, I have a talk with him about how I understand how he's confused. I mean, we never told him NOT to poo poo outside, and since it's ok to tee tee out there he just thought it would be ok to try out #2. We go, wipe, wash our hands, change our pants, and get ready to go back outside and play, all the while, I'm giving him a big talk about how he is not to step in it (Justin was going to get a shovel and take care of it when he got home) and what the repercussions of stepping in it are. So he goes out side, and within 5 minutes, he starts crying. I ask what's wrong and he says "poo poo". Of course, I'm thinking that he's stepped in it and am automatically getting ready to reinforce those repercussions when I go outside and realize he's crying because it's gone... the big pile-o-poo is gone. We look everywhere for the poo... me and my almost 4 year old, peeking through the weeds to see if we see any bit of the missing P patty. Then I look up and there sits our dog. Now, I'm not going to say she ate it... I hope she didn't, but where else could it be? Seriously? And more importantly... what am I supposed to do about that?
So when we started trying to potty train Preston, someone told us the easiest thing to do with little boys was to take them outside and let them tee tee on a leaf, or rock, or some other focal point. He loved it. He even asks if he can go outside and tee tee from time to time. Depending on the weather, the answer is usually yes.
Well, today, he comes waddling into the house (he had been outside playing) with his pants and boxers around his ankles with a big smile on his face. "Poo poo side, Mommy!" Translation: He poo poo'd outside. I asked him to clarify what I thought I heard, and sure enough, he had poo poo'd outside. He was so proud... and I was in such disbelief... he showed me where it was. And there it sat... a good portion too... not just a couple of pellets.
So, I have a talk with him about how I understand how he's confused. I mean, we never told him NOT to poo poo outside, and since it's ok to tee tee out there he just thought it would be ok to try out #2. We go, wipe, wash our hands, change our pants, and get ready to go back outside and play, all the while, I'm giving him a big talk about how he is not to step in it (Justin was going to get a shovel and take care of it when he got home) and what the repercussions of stepping in it are. So he goes out side, and within 5 minutes, he starts crying. I ask what's wrong and he says "poo poo". Of course, I'm thinking that he's stepped in it and am automatically getting ready to reinforce those repercussions when I go outside and realize he's crying because it's gone... the big pile-o-poo is gone. We look everywhere for the poo... me and my almost 4 year old, peeking through the weeds to see if we see any bit of the missing P patty. Then I look up and there sits our dog. Now, I'm not going to say she ate it... I hope she didn't, but where else could it be? Seriously? And more importantly... what am I supposed to do about that?
Friday, February 11, 2011
worst.week.ever
Or maybe I should just say most memorable week ever. Let's rewind to last Friday...
Justin left at 9 a.m. headed to Atlanta for a week... a full week... not what I used to call a week... the 3 nights that Justin used to travel. This was leaving Friday and coming home Friday (thankfully, he came home Thursday). Here's a rundown of the highlights of my week:
Monday- We have speech. We go, and as we're leaving, Preston runs out into the road (away from me) all the while I'm screaming for him to stop while holding a 24 lb baby in a 15 lb. carrier. Then we went home for a little bit before we had to go to our second speech lesson for the day. While we're at home, I tell Preston to go potty before we have to leave. He disappears to the bathroom and comes back wearing nothing except his shirt. When I asked him where his underwear is, he says "Mac potty"... he had "Mac" (from Cars) undies on. Confused, I go to the back only to find, there is no "Mac" in the potty. I ask again where his underwear is, and then he tells me that Mac went down the hole. That's right, folks, he flushed his underwear down the toilet. Thankfully, it didn't stop it up.
Tuesday (at least I think it was)- Preston goes to school (yay!!). When he gets home, he takes a nap, and when he gets up he wants to watch a movie in the playroom. I turn it on and go to another room to take care of some things. A few minutes later, I smell a strong odor... like the paint pens I use in my art... like condensed spray paint. Then, in walks Preston... with a silver lip. Now that I think about it, that was Saturday... anyway, the point is, he found a paint pen somewhere. I have no idea where because I keep them all put up where he can't get to them. This was the day he started being completely defiant towards me... yelling, telling me no all the time, doing the opposite of anything I asked him to do... we were not jiving at.all.
Wednesday- We have speech again. He is better behaved... don't know what changed, but he had an attitude adjustment. Maybe God knew I couldn't take much more. With the threat of snow/ice church is cancelled, and I'm stuck in the house for the 6th night. Cabin fever, anyone? The silver lining was Justin tells me he's coming home tomorrow (Thursday), and I swear I hear the Hallelujah Chorus when he tells me that.
Thursday- Justin is coming home!!! YAY!!!! I'm in a great mood, despite P's school being cancelled due to the weather, the enormous amount of housework that needs to be done, and the fact that I'm freaking out thinking Justin won't make it home because the roads are so bad. Good news is, Preston is being perfect... I mean perfect. This should have been my first clue. I'm doing laundry and go to get his hamper. As I'm sorting it, the clothes seem to be going from damp to wet. I'm very confused. There are no wet towels in it, nothing to cause this. They start smelling, and then I start noticing spots... mildew spots. All of the sudden, it hits me... he plays in the water all of the time. So, I ask... "Preston, did you pour water in your hamper?" "Yes." Great. Then, my mom comes over. Preston has been in my bedroom watching tv and playing in our bed all morning, again, being perfect. When my mom walks in, I smell baby powder. It goes away, then I smell it again. Then, P comes in to see her, and guess what? He's looks like a ghost... his hair, skin, eyes, feet, every inch of his body is covered in (let's say it all together) baby powder. I walk into the bedroom and this is what I see...
Nice, right? So I get my vacuum out and begin vacuuming my bed... never thought I'd say that. The strange thing is that when I moved one of my pillows, there was a large pile of powder like he had tried to cover it up. My personal opinion is that this is where it began. He spilled some, tried to cover it up, but when he realized he was going to get in trouble, he just decided he might as well have fun with the rest of it. And yes, he did get in trouble... big trouble. After I got the comforter vacuumed off, I put P in bed for a nap. Well, wouldn't you know, he's not interested in a nap. After about an hour of him sitting in his room, talking, jumping, playing, he comes out and announces he has to go to the bathroom and that his stomach hurts. He goes to the potty, I go to put baby powder covered sheets in the washer. After about 10 min., I go to his bathroom to check on him, only he meets me in Brooks' room telling me he has a surprise for me (on a side note, this is his new thing... everything has to be a surprise. It's really cute... he'll hide something behind his back, come up to me and say, "surprise Mommy", and I say, "what is it?" P: "I dunno? Mommy, heart, I love you" followed by a big hug and kiss and whatever he's holding behind his back... cute, right? I digress...) I had a feeling about what this "surprise" was, so I bypassed the hug and kiss, and I was right. His "surprise" was poop covered hands. And I mean covered... under his nails. Still makes me sick thinking about it. Anyway, I get him cleaned up and put him back to bed.
Around 5, Justin pulls up in the driveway, and I feel the weight of the world lift off of my shoulders. He comes in, changes into some comfy clothes and sits down next to me. Preston disappears. Then he reappears rubbing his eyes and telling his daddy it hurts. I smell Scrubbing Bubbles, and ask if he's been in our shower (I was cleaning our bathroom). He says no. He takes me to show me what had happened and shows me the can of scrubbing bubbles sitting on the vanity. He had sprayed it in his hair/forehead/eyes. We immediately throw him in the shower, flush his eyes and wash his hair. Thankfully, he's ok.
Needless to say, it has been a week. I told Justin he can never leave us again! :) I'm sure he'll have to eventually, but maybe things will be a little more calm next time.
Justin left at 9 a.m. headed to Atlanta for a week... a full week... not what I used to call a week... the 3 nights that Justin used to travel. This was leaving Friday and coming home Friday (thankfully, he came home Thursday). Here's a rundown of the highlights of my week:
Monday- We have speech. We go, and as we're leaving, Preston runs out into the road (away from me) all the while I'm screaming for him to stop while holding a 24 lb baby in a 15 lb. carrier. Then we went home for a little bit before we had to go to our second speech lesson for the day. While we're at home, I tell Preston to go potty before we have to leave. He disappears to the bathroom and comes back wearing nothing except his shirt. When I asked him where his underwear is, he says "Mac potty"... he had "Mac" (from Cars) undies on. Confused, I go to the back only to find, there is no "Mac" in the potty. I ask again where his underwear is, and then he tells me that Mac went down the hole. That's right, folks, he flushed his underwear down the toilet. Thankfully, it didn't stop it up.
Tuesday (at least I think it was)- Preston goes to school (yay!!). When he gets home, he takes a nap, and when he gets up he wants to watch a movie in the playroom. I turn it on and go to another room to take care of some things. A few minutes later, I smell a strong odor... like the paint pens I use in my art... like condensed spray paint. Then, in walks Preston... with a silver lip. Now that I think about it, that was Saturday... anyway, the point is, he found a paint pen somewhere. I have no idea where because I keep them all put up where he can't get to them. This was the day he started being completely defiant towards me... yelling, telling me no all the time, doing the opposite of anything I asked him to do... we were not jiving at.all.
Wednesday- We have speech again. He is better behaved... don't know what changed, but he had an attitude adjustment. Maybe God knew I couldn't take much more. With the threat of snow/ice church is cancelled, and I'm stuck in the house for the 6th night. Cabin fever, anyone? The silver lining was Justin tells me he's coming home tomorrow (Thursday), and I swear I hear the Hallelujah Chorus when he tells me that.
Thursday- Justin is coming home!!! YAY!!!! I'm in a great mood, despite P's school being cancelled due to the weather, the enormous amount of housework that needs to be done, and the fact that I'm freaking out thinking Justin won't make it home because the roads are so bad. Good news is, Preston is being perfect... I mean perfect. This should have been my first clue. I'm doing laundry and go to get his hamper. As I'm sorting it, the clothes seem to be going from damp to wet. I'm very confused. There are no wet towels in it, nothing to cause this. They start smelling, and then I start noticing spots... mildew spots. All of the sudden, it hits me... he plays in the water all of the time. So, I ask... "Preston, did you pour water in your hamper?" "Yes." Great. Then, my mom comes over. Preston has been in my bedroom watching tv and playing in our bed all morning, again, being perfect. When my mom walks in, I smell baby powder. It goes away, then I smell it again. Then, P comes in to see her, and guess what? He's looks like a ghost... his hair, skin, eyes, feet, every inch of his body is covered in (let's say it all together) baby powder. I walk into the bedroom and this is what I see...
Nice, right? So I get my vacuum out and begin vacuuming my bed... never thought I'd say that. The strange thing is that when I moved one of my pillows, there was a large pile of powder like he had tried to cover it up. My personal opinion is that this is where it began. He spilled some, tried to cover it up, but when he realized he was going to get in trouble, he just decided he might as well have fun with the rest of it. And yes, he did get in trouble... big trouble. After I got the comforter vacuumed off, I put P in bed for a nap. Well, wouldn't you know, he's not interested in a nap. After about an hour of him sitting in his room, talking, jumping, playing, he comes out and announces he has to go to the bathroom and that his stomach hurts. He goes to the potty, I go to put baby powder covered sheets in the washer. After about 10 min., I go to his bathroom to check on him, only he meets me in Brooks' room telling me he has a surprise for me (on a side note, this is his new thing... everything has to be a surprise. It's really cute... he'll hide something behind his back, come up to me and say, "surprise Mommy", and I say, "what is it?" P: "I dunno? Mommy, heart, I love you" followed by a big hug and kiss and whatever he's holding behind his back... cute, right? I digress...) I had a feeling about what this "surprise" was, so I bypassed the hug and kiss, and I was right. His "surprise" was poop covered hands. And I mean covered... under his nails. Still makes me sick thinking about it. Anyway, I get him cleaned up and put him back to bed.
Around 5, Justin pulls up in the driveway, and I feel the weight of the world lift off of my shoulders. He comes in, changes into some comfy clothes and sits down next to me. Preston disappears. Then he reappears rubbing his eyes and telling his daddy it hurts. I smell Scrubbing Bubbles, and ask if he's been in our shower (I was cleaning our bathroom). He says no. He takes me to show me what had happened and shows me the can of scrubbing bubbles sitting on the vanity. He had sprayed it in his hair/forehead/eyes. We immediately throw him in the shower, flush his eyes and wash his hair. Thankfully, he's ok.
Needless to say, it has been a week. I told Justin he can never leave us again! :) I'm sure he'll have to eventually, but maybe things will be a little more calm next time.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Blessed beyond measure
Have you ever been just so overwhelmed with all of the happiness, joy, and blessings in your life you can't even wrap your mind around it? That's where I am right now. I'm so humbled with what God has done, is doing, and will do in our life.
You know how I mentioned a business a couple of posts ago? Well, it's started. It's called "Glory Bee" (because ALL glory bee to HIM), and it's painting parties and classes. My step-sister and her husband encouraged me to do this about 3 years ago, but I didn't really pay them any attention since I had a real job and all. But the real job is gone, and now I stay at home. Most of you should know how I love to be crafty... not in the bad way... the good way... I love to make things, paint things, be creative. I've always loved it. I feel that it's a talent that God has given me, and I think that any talent He gives you, you should use, and you should use it for His glory. Soooo, I'm starting up this little business, and can I just tell you, it's booming?? (Thank you, Lord!)
I taught a birthday party for 8 year old girls last night, and it.was.awesome! I loved it! The girls had so much fun, and I never thought that you would be able to hear a pin drop in the same room with 11 eight year old girls... they were SOOO quiet! They were all focused and wanted to make these canvases perfect. My favorite part is how they all turned out... each one so different from the next. It's so cool to see how they each interpreted the instruction.
So since last night alone, I've booked another party and had at least 4 people email me about hosting one. On top of that, I'm teaching classes at my home and have one completely full and another that's almost full, and have 50 people who want to be informed about upcoming classes!! Can you tell I'm excited!?! God is so overwhelmingly good, and I am so overwhelmingly undeserving of His love and His favor.
On top of this, and most importantly, I've got two healthy baby boys, and an amazing, supportive husband. I am truly blessed beyond measure!
You know how I mentioned a business a couple of posts ago? Well, it's started. It's called "Glory Bee" (because ALL glory bee to HIM), and it's painting parties and classes. My step-sister and her husband encouraged me to do this about 3 years ago, but I didn't really pay them any attention since I had a real job and all. But the real job is gone, and now I stay at home. Most of you should know how I love to be crafty... not in the bad way... the good way... I love to make things, paint things, be creative. I've always loved it. I feel that it's a talent that God has given me, and I think that any talent He gives you, you should use, and you should use it for His glory. Soooo, I'm starting up this little business, and can I just tell you, it's booming?? (Thank you, Lord!)
I taught a birthday party for 8 year old girls last night, and it.was.awesome! I loved it! The girls had so much fun, and I never thought that you would be able to hear a pin drop in the same room with 11 eight year old girls... they were SOOO quiet! They were all focused and wanted to make these canvases perfect. My favorite part is how they all turned out... each one so different from the next. It's so cool to see how they each interpreted the instruction.
So since last night alone, I've booked another party and had at least 4 people email me about hosting one. On top of that, I'm teaching classes at my home and have one completely full and another that's almost full, and have 50 people who want to be informed about upcoming classes!! Can you tell I'm excited!?! God is so overwhelmingly good, and I am so overwhelmingly undeserving of His love and His favor.
On top of this, and most importantly, I've got two healthy baby boys, and an amazing, supportive husband. I am truly blessed beyond measure!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I'm a better Mommy because I don't work...
No, really, I am. And I'm a better wife, daughter, granddaughter, and friend. Don't believe me, ask the people that know. No lie... 3 months after losing my job, my best friend told me I was I nicer person. Wasn't really sure how to take that at the time, but I get it now.
Last Thursday, Preston and I were on our way to school and MOPS. It had been a ridiculously busy morning. I am not a morning person... at all. Never have been. (Which, that's one of my favorite things about staying home... no alarm clocks! (except on Sunday morning)) So, of course, I couldn't drag myself out of bed early enough. I'm still having a hard time adjusting to feeding a new baby and calculating that time into my "get ready" total. So, of course we were late. I had invited a couple of people to MOPS, so I needed to be there to meet them before MOPS started... at 9:15. Preston's school starts at 9. We got in the truck at 8:57. Needless to say we weren't there on time. When I got the boys loaded in the truck, I was frazzled. I had been rushing to get us all ready to be on time, and now we weren't going to, plus I had left my phone... which, one of my friends was going to call when she got to MOPS for me to meet her.
Going through all of this in my mind and sulking in my frustration, Preston starts talking to me. And I mean really talking. It was "Mommy, this... Mommy, that... Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" I was about to lose it, and I did for about a second. I raised my voice, and then I realized... this is not his fault. It's not his fault I wanted to sleep 10 more minutes instead of getting up and getting them ready so we wouldn't be late. It's not his fault my phone is still plugged up on the charger on my bedside table. It's not him... it's me.
I immediately flash back to when I worked. I thought about taking him to Pam's everyday, picking him up every night, and being frustrated... a lot. And being upset with him... a lot. And not enjoying my child... a lot. And it was all me. I couldn't turn it (my job) off. I couldn't turn the stress off, and he was the one that had to deal with it. Talk about guilt setting in. It immediately changed my attitude. I told him I was sorry for being short with him, then we had our prayer that we have when we're on our way to school, and things were better. A lot better. It made me realize how different my life is now... how much better my life is now.
Don't get me wrong... there are days when I wish I had a job. I see how quickly we're outgrowing our house, and I think, "if I only had my job" we could get a bigger one. I think about going shopping at Stein Mart like I used to (when I had a closet full of clothes with the tags still on that I didn't wear ) and think if I had a job, I could do that. We could buy a boat for the cabin my parents just bought, we could go on vacation, we could do a lot of things. But you know what? If my job meant being able to do all these things, but not having a good relationship with my children because I couldn't focus on them, then I'll take being jobless. I'll take my life exactly how it is... I would take living in a card board box and eating Ramen noodles 3 times a day if it means I can be a good mom, totally focused on my kids.
For some people, they can turn it off. To you, I say congratulations. You're fortunate. I didn't have an office where I could leave it, and I'm sure I probably put more pressure on myself than was necessary, but that's just how I operated. And because of that, I'm thankful. I'm thankful God knew better than I did. That He has made (and continues to make) me the mother I need to be... fully dependent on and totally devoted to Him.
Last Thursday, Preston and I were on our way to school and MOPS. It had been a ridiculously busy morning. I am not a morning person... at all. Never have been. (Which, that's one of my favorite things about staying home... no alarm clocks! (except on Sunday morning)) So, of course, I couldn't drag myself out of bed early enough. I'm still having a hard time adjusting to feeding a new baby and calculating that time into my "get ready" total. So, of course we were late. I had invited a couple of people to MOPS, so I needed to be there to meet them before MOPS started... at 9:15. Preston's school starts at 9. We got in the truck at 8:57. Needless to say we weren't there on time. When I got the boys loaded in the truck, I was frazzled. I had been rushing to get us all ready to be on time, and now we weren't going to, plus I had left my phone... which, one of my friends was going to call when she got to MOPS for me to meet her.
Going through all of this in my mind and sulking in my frustration, Preston starts talking to me. And I mean really talking. It was "Mommy, this... Mommy, that... Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" I was about to lose it, and I did for about a second. I raised my voice, and then I realized... this is not his fault. It's not his fault I wanted to sleep 10 more minutes instead of getting up and getting them ready so we wouldn't be late. It's not his fault my phone is still plugged up on the charger on my bedside table. It's not him... it's me.
I immediately flash back to when I worked. I thought about taking him to Pam's everyday, picking him up every night, and being frustrated... a lot. And being upset with him... a lot. And not enjoying my child... a lot. And it was all me. I couldn't turn it (my job) off. I couldn't turn the stress off, and he was the one that had to deal with it. Talk about guilt setting in. It immediately changed my attitude. I told him I was sorry for being short with him, then we had our prayer that we have when we're on our way to school, and things were better. A lot better. It made me realize how different my life is now... how much better my life is now.
Don't get me wrong... there are days when I wish I had a job. I see how quickly we're outgrowing our house, and I think, "if I only had my job" we could get a bigger one. I think about going shopping at Stein Mart like I used to (when I had a closet full of clothes with the tags still on that I didn't wear ) and think if I had a job, I could do that. We could buy a boat for the cabin my parents just bought, we could go on vacation, we could do a lot of things. But you know what? If my job meant being able to do all these things, but not having a good relationship with my children because I couldn't focus on them, then I'll take being jobless. I'll take my life exactly how it is... I would take living in a card board box and eating Ramen noodles 3 times a day if it means I can be a good mom, totally focused on my kids.
For some people, they can turn it off. To you, I say congratulations. You're fortunate. I didn't have an office where I could leave it, and I'm sure I probably put more pressure on myself than was necessary, but that's just how I operated. And because of that, I'm thankful. I'm thankful God knew better than I did. That He has made (and continues to make) me the mother I need to be... fully dependent on and totally devoted to Him.
Motivation
I.can.not.get.motivated.
To work out anyway. I'm sitting here typing this because I seriously don't have the energy to get up and jog, do a workout video, get on the wii, or even just walk on the treadmill. Could someone please tell me it's ok? That having a 4 month old and 3 1/2 year old I'm chasing after all day... plus doing endless mounds of laundry... plus cooking dinner... plus cleaning the house... plus entertaining previously mentioned 3 1/2 year old... plus feeding, bathing, and changing diapers of the 4 month old... is enough to make anyone tired, and I'm not expected to find the energy?
Good news is, I've aparently become motivated to blog... yay me. And not just on this one, my other one as well. Have you heard about it? southernbellesoapbox.blogspot.com? You should check it out too, and I have another as well, but you'll have to find it to be able to read it. haha!
Anyway, that's all I got right now.... I just need some motivation... and energy... and to be independently wealthy while we're asking for things.
To work out anyway. I'm sitting here typing this because I seriously don't have the energy to get up and jog, do a workout video, get on the wii, or even just walk on the treadmill. Could someone please tell me it's ok? That having a 4 month old and 3 1/2 year old I'm chasing after all day... plus doing endless mounds of laundry... plus cooking dinner... plus cleaning the house... plus entertaining previously mentioned 3 1/2 year old... plus feeding, bathing, and changing diapers of the 4 month old... is enough to make anyone tired, and I'm not expected to find the energy?
Good news is, I've aparently become motivated to blog... yay me. And not just on this one, my other one as well. Have you heard about it? southernbellesoapbox.blogspot.com? You should check it out too, and I have another as well, but you'll have to find it to be able to read it. haha!
Anyway, that's all I got right now.... I just need some motivation... and energy... and to be independently wealthy while we're asking for things.
Friday, January 7, 2011
The best big brother in the world
That would be Preston. He is the current title holder, and hopefully won't have to relinquish his title for indecent behavior! Seriously, he is so great with Brooks... better than I ever imagined he would be. Of course it's taken us 4 months to get to this point... and I am definitely not saying that we are in the clear, but let me just give you an example of what it was compared to what it is now...
When P first met B, I really thought everything was going to be great. He LOVED him... he even wanted to see his toes and count them! When Brooks cried, Preston cried... he just didn't want anything to be wrong with his baby brother. Then, we left the hospital...
And the temper tantrums ensued... and the potty training reverted... and the back talk started. Someone told me about 2 weeks after I had B that the worst possible time to bring a new baby into a child's life is at age 3. Well, guess what? P is 3. He threw a temper tantrum if we looked at him the wrong way. He totally ignored me because I was spending so much time with the baby, and if I wanted to spend time with just me and P, he snubbed me. Needless to say, I was heart broken. Then the reverting started. He had been in school for the first couple of weeks and started coming home with his "back up" pants on. Understand, he had been potty trained for a minimum of 6 months at the time. He definitely knew the "feeling" of when he needed to go. This going in our pants lasted until he got a good spanking and then it stopped... proof that he knew what he was doing. And the back talk, well, some say that could just be because he's 3 (and let me say, 3 is way worse than 2 ever thought about being. Not even sure why they call it the terrible 2's... maybe because 3 is so bad that there is no word in the English language to describe it). Saying no to everything... and I mean EVERYTHING, and not only saying no, but defiantly telling us he will not do things and physically trying to keep from doing things and then we physically have to make him do things. And these are not hard things! It's not like I'm asking him to create world peace or solve the government's budget issues... I'm simply wanting him to wash his hands after he tt's and put on his pants. Ridiculous. Let me give you the most specific example of how he showed out because he was having to share Mommy's (among others) attention.
It was the first and last time Justin would have to travel with the state (thank you, God, for a new job!). So, he was gone to Jackson, and I was still breast feeding. It was time for Brooks to eat, and as usual, we (me, P, and B) piled up in our bed for me to feed the baby. While I'm feeding him, Preston gave me this awful look... a mean look. He said he had to tt and asked if he could use our bathroom. I said, "sure". So he goes in our "toilet closet" and shuts the door. I hear the toilet flush and flush and flush... I don't know how many times I heard it flush. Well, after he had been in there entirely too long, I called for him and asked him to open the door. Of course he didn't, so I had to unlatch B, situate him, and then headed to open the door. When I did, there was P with his hands on two bottles down in the toilet. He had taken the squirt bottles I was ordered to use by the doctor, filling them up with toilet water, and squirting them on the floor. When the toilet ran out of water, no problem, he just flushed it and filled the bowl back up and repeated the squirting again. There was literally a quarter of an inch of water ( if not more) all over the floor. After that, I stopped breast feeding, and after that, things got better.
Fast forward 4 months... even less... let's say 3. About a month ago, I was cleaning the hall bathroom, and I heard Preston cooing at Brooks... saying the exact same things I say to get B to smile and interact and laugh with me. I peeked around the corner to see my precious 3 year old laying on the jungle gym mat next to his baby brother cooing at him and rubbing his face (the same way I do). When he was done, he moved over and gave B a kiss on the head and told him he loved him. Talk about melting a mother's heart! Then, just this week, I was walking by B's bed (he was napping) and there was a blanket on him... a blanket I hadn't put on him. I asked P if he had put the blanket on his brother. He said, "Yeah. Brook cold." So sweet. He's also been helping feed him more, talking to him when no one is watching, kissing him when no one is watching, and making sure his mobile is on. He's such a great big brother. He's so protective of him... only letting people he deems acceptable to touch his baby brother. It's an answered prayer... truly.
I've got to go now... doing laundry. Will try to most more soon... but really, you should be proud. What is this, like 3 posts in the same month... in the same week? It's a record!
When P first met B, I really thought everything was going to be great. He LOVED him... he even wanted to see his toes and count them! When Brooks cried, Preston cried... he just didn't want anything to be wrong with his baby brother. Then, we left the hospital...
And the temper tantrums ensued... and the potty training reverted... and the back talk started. Someone told me about 2 weeks after I had B that the worst possible time to bring a new baby into a child's life is at age 3. Well, guess what? P is 3. He threw a temper tantrum if we looked at him the wrong way. He totally ignored me because I was spending so much time with the baby, and if I wanted to spend time with just me and P, he snubbed me. Needless to say, I was heart broken. Then the reverting started. He had been in school for the first couple of weeks and started coming home with his "back up" pants on. Understand, he had been potty trained for a minimum of 6 months at the time. He definitely knew the "feeling" of when he needed to go. This going in our pants lasted until he got a good spanking and then it stopped... proof that he knew what he was doing. And the back talk, well, some say that could just be because he's 3 (and let me say, 3 is way worse than 2 ever thought about being. Not even sure why they call it the terrible 2's... maybe because 3 is so bad that there is no word in the English language to describe it). Saying no to everything... and I mean EVERYTHING, and not only saying no, but defiantly telling us he will not do things and physically trying to keep from doing things and then we physically have to make him do things. And these are not hard things! It's not like I'm asking him to create world peace or solve the government's budget issues... I'm simply wanting him to wash his hands after he tt's and put on his pants. Ridiculous. Let me give you the most specific example of how he showed out because he was having to share Mommy's (among others) attention.
It was the first and last time Justin would have to travel with the state (thank you, God, for a new job!). So, he was gone to Jackson, and I was still breast feeding. It was time for Brooks to eat, and as usual, we (me, P, and B) piled up in our bed for me to feed the baby. While I'm feeding him, Preston gave me this awful look... a mean look. He said he had to tt and asked if he could use our bathroom. I said, "sure". So he goes in our "toilet closet" and shuts the door. I hear the toilet flush and flush and flush... I don't know how many times I heard it flush. Well, after he had been in there entirely too long, I called for him and asked him to open the door. Of course he didn't, so I had to unlatch B, situate him, and then headed to open the door. When I did, there was P with his hands on two bottles down in the toilet. He had taken the squirt bottles I was ordered to use by the doctor, filling them up with toilet water, and squirting them on the floor. When the toilet ran out of water, no problem, he just flushed it and filled the bowl back up and repeated the squirting again. There was literally a quarter of an inch of water ( if not more) all over the floor. After that, I stopped breast feeding, and after that, things got better.
Fast forward 4 months... even less... let's say 3. About a month ago, I was cleaning the hall bathroom, and I heard Preston cooing at Brooks... saying the exact same things I say to get B to smile and interact and laugh with me. I peeked around the corner to see my precious 3 year old laying on the jungle gym mat next to his baby brother cooing at him and rubbing his face (the same way I do). When he was done, he moved over and gave B a kiss on the head and told him he loved him. Talk about melting a mother's heart! Then, just this week, I was walking by B's bed (he was napping) and there was a blanket on him... a blanket I hadn't put on him. I asked P if he had put the blanket on his brother. He said, "Yeah. Brook cold." So sweet. He's also been helping feed him more, talking to him when no one is watching, kissing him when no one is watching, and making sure his mobile is on. He's such a great big brother. He's so protective of him... only letting people he deems acceptable to touch his baby brother. It's an answered prayer... truly.
I've got to go now... doing laundry. Will try to most more soon... but really, you should be proud. What is this, like 3 posts in the same month... in the same week? It's a record!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Just a quick one...
I have to say that I have the BEST husband in the world... bar none... if you want to argue, we can go out back (haha... just kidding... kind of...). Just to give you the latest example...
Today when Justin came home from work, we were discussing my impending "business" (I'll blog about that later... no, really, I will) and how well it seems to be taking off (praise you, God!). Seeing the look of concern on my face (because I will always be a terrible worry wart), he walks over to me, kisses me on the forehead and says to me, "I believe in you, even when you don't, and I've got confidence in you, even when you don't." There's nothing in this world he could have given me that would mean more to me than that right there... no amount of money, nothing.
I totally know that I make some people so sick when I talk about my husband... I get it, I do. But you need to get this... coming from a divorced family, I never knew a marriage could be this good, and that 2 people could love each other this much and still be in love this much after being together for over 8 years. I'm just so thankful that God has answered all my prayers in that one man.
Just needed to gush for a second... now I've got to get ready for our date! ;)
Today when Justin came home from work, we were discussing my impending "business" (I'll blog about that later... no, really, I will) and how well it seems to be taking off (praise you, God!). Seeing the look of concern on my face (because I will always be a terrible worry wart), he walks over to me, kisses me on the forehead and says to me, "I believe in you, even when you don't, and I've got confidence in you, even when you don't." There's nothing in this world he could have given me that would mean more to me than that right there... no amount of money, nothing.
I totally know that I make some people so sick when I talk about my husband... I get it, I do. But you need to get this... coming from a divorced family, I never knew a marriage could be this good, and that 2 people could love each other this much and still be in love this much after being together for over 8 years. I'm just so thankful that God has answered all my prayers in that one man.
Just needed to gush for a second... now I've got to get ready for our date! ;)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Determined...
That would be my key word for 2011. Determined to do what you ask? This...
Be a better wife and mom
Lose weight (while eating a Hershey's kiss as I type)
Get healthier
Read my Bible daily
Have prayer time daily
Talk to my grandmothers a minimum of once a week
Exercise 3x a week... minimum
Be able to run a 5k by June
Blog more (don't laugh)
And, since I've heard that there is this new thing where you can have your blogs published into a book, I figure I can save time on my scrapbooking by just doing all of the journaling here with the picture and press a button at the end of the year to have my scrapbook. See how I've got it all figured out?
All of this is doable... I just have to do it.
Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of the boys today, but what I do have is a picture of our New Year's Day tradition... Hoppin' John. Enjoy!
Be a better wife and mom
Lose weight (while eating a Hershey's kiss as I type)
Get healthier
Read my Bible daily
Have prayer time daily
Talk to my grandmothers a minimum of once a week
Exercise 3x a week... minimum
Be able to run a 5k by June
Blog more (don't laugh)
And, since I've heard that there is this new thing where you can have your blogs published into a book, I figure I can save time on my scrapbooking by just doing all of the journaling here with the picture and press a button at the end of the year to have my scrapbook. See how I've got it all figured out?
All of this is doable... I just have to do it.
Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of the boys today, but what I do have is a picture of our New Year's Day tradition... Hoppin' John. Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)